


5 times Hanbin didn't understand the lyrics and the 1 time he didn't need to

by Giraffe23



Series: Hanbin's Idol Boyfriend [3]
Category: K-pop, iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Boyfriends, Character Study, Epiphanies, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Idols, Implied Relationships, Inspired by Music, M/M, Not Beta Read, Short One Shot, This Is STUPID, doubleb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 04:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18887653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giraffe23/pseuds/Giraffe23
Summary: Hanbin has always thought of himself as a good boyfriend and a good musician so why can't he find the perfect song to express his love to Jiwon?





	5 times Hanbin didn't understand the lyrics and the 1 time he didn't need to

**Author's Note:**

> So.... this happened over the weekend. I really need a more adult adult to supervise me trying to adult or I'm going to develop a problem.  
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated. Leave any requests you would like to see and I'll try and give them a go. And don't be afraid to add me on twitter @Ryeowooksgiraff I would love to hear from you and chat.  
> I hope you enjoy this xxx

As an idol Hanbin had spent a long time thinking about what things in his life were the most important to him. Whether it was to use in his music or as an answer in a variety show Hanbin had been asked to rank and compare his priorities many times over the years.

Now, as an adult he had to admit that maybe it wasn’t as clear as a linear list. Obviously his family, specifically his sister and mother, were at the top of his 'list'. The members and music both a close second, they were his life after all.

Hanbin sighed and readjusted in his chair to swing back and forth as he thought.

It was common practise for writers to use their personal experience and emotions in song writing; Hanbin himself had done so in the past. It just got the best results. There was just one part of his life that Hanbin completely failed to portray every single time he sat down to try. Despite Jiwon and music being the two loves of his life, getting them to collide and work together was turning out to be the challenge of a life time.

The love songs, or breakup songs, Hanbin had written in the past weren’t about his relationship with Jiwon; in fact they were mostly inspired by Junhoe’s tales of woe after returning from a date.

Hanbin snorted, honestly it was as if the younger boy sprayed himself with woman repellent when he went out on a date. Junhoe was attractive, funny, tall and successful but nothing ever seemed to work out for him.

Compared to Junhoe, Hanbin’s love life was pretty smooth sailing. So smooth that Hanbin had no clue what to write about when it came to them. As a couple they were completely comfortable and… boring together. Was boring good? Maybe it was a good thing since all the classically romantic stories ended up in death or separation.

Sighing Hanbin looked over at where YunHyeong was reading on the sofa as he waited for Hanbin to finish working before they headed for lunch.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah Bin-a?” YunHyeong asked distractedly as he turned the page.

“If you had to choose a song to represent your relationship with Daisy, what would you pick?”

“That is a very odd and weirdly specific question.” YunHyeong snorted as he sat forward to give Hanbin his full attention. “Something on your mind?”

“Not _exactly_ … I was just wondering.”

“Okay well, if I had to pick just one song…” YunHyeong tapped his fingers against his leg in thought.

“Don’t worry about it, Hyung. It was just a stupid thought.”

“No, let me think. It’s going to bug me if I don’t get it now.”

Hanbin laughed and turned back to his monitor to save his work and shut everything down. He had been too distracted to get any work done for the last twenty minutes so they might as well head to lunch early.

Turning back around and checking for his phone and wallet Hanbin watched YunHyeong thinking with a smile on his face. His Hyung always got such a dopey expression on his face when Daisy was brought up in conversation. It was a wonder they had managed to hide their relationship for so long when they both seemed to light up at the mere mention of the other.

“I’ve got it.” YunHyeong suddenly yelled and stood up in victory.

“Alright. Let me hear what mushy grossness this is going to be.”

“It’s You by Henry Lau.”

Hanbin paused as he thought over the lyrics of the song. It was a pretty track; full of devotion and sweetness as a long awaited connection was finally made real. The idea of finding ‘ _The One_ ’ and knowing immediately. Yes, that all suited the couple perfectly.

YunHyeong flushed as he realised how much he might’ve just over shared and Hanbin took pity on him. Standing up he wrapped his arm around his Hyung’s shoulder and guided him out of the studio.

“I think that’s awesome, Hyung. I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Yeah. Does it help with whatever you’ve been wrestling with?”

 _No_. Hanbin thought gloomily. The assured way in which YunHyeong had picked out the song made Hanbin even more confused. Why couldn't he just think of the right song.

There had been no waiting in his relationship with Jiwon. They had grown up together and fallen in love just as naturally. Hanbin couldn’t even pin-point an exact moment when he had suddenly realised that he was in love with his bestfriend; he had just woken up one day and it felt like it had always been there.

“Absolutely, Hyung, thanks. Now let’s go get some food. I’m starving.”

 

* * *

 

Falling backwards onto his bed that night Hanbin heaved out a heavy sigh. Spending the afternoon with YunHyeong had been fun but the other’s constant ribbing about Hanbin’s weird behaviour in the studio had only stoked the fire in his mind. Hanbin was now obsessively trying to sort through songs he knew that could describe what he had with Jiwon.

Giving up when his mind became too crowded with so many disordered thoughts Hanbin opened his music player on his phone and scrolled randomly. Tapping on a song without looking he heard the familiar chords of Jiyong Hyung’s song start up.

_Let’s not fall in love._

Hanbin snorted and threw his phone down on the bed. Jiyong may be his hero but they had _very_ different views on love. Jiyong rarely spent more than a few months in a relationship before he was moving on to something new or taking some time out of the dating scene.

Being scared was something Hanbin could proudly say he had never experienced when it came to his relationship with Jiwon. Excited and nervous, definitely, but scared to commit? Never. Hanbin would give his all to Jiwon and he knew the other felt the same. They had always been that way with each other.

Listening to the voices in the song apologising and thinking only of the potential hurt that would come Hanbin found himself pitying that view on love. How cynical Jiyong Hyung.

Either way, the song definitely wasn’t the one he was looking for. Tugging the ear buds out of his ears Hanbin grabbed a change of clothes and headed for a shower. Maybe that would clear his mind.

 

* * *

 

A few days later and Hanbin was beginning to get twitchy with his lack of a resolution. Jiwon was such a major part of his life, practically with him through everything, and yet he couldn’t find a song to encompass how he felt. Music was meant to be his _thing_ but all he could draw was a big, fat blank when it came to such a precious thing.

Letting his head fall back with a thump against the head rest Hanbin crossed his arms in frustration. Jinhwan eyed him from the seat next to him and Hanbin turned away, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with his upbeat Hyung.

“What’s up Bin-a? You’ve been distracted all week.” Jinhwan whispered.

“Can we not do this here?”

“Then where? You always run away to your studio.”

“Hyung.” Hanbin whined. “It’s really, _really_ stupid. I’ll try and be more focused from now on.”

Jinhwan narrowed his eyes at Hanbin and Hanbin watched in silence as the other deliberated.

“Okay but if you want to talk, no matter how stupid, I’m around.”

“Alright Hyung.” Hanbin couldn’t help but smile at how his members worried for him. It felt good to be cared for.

Settling back in his seat, his mind was quiet for once, Hanbin watched the scenery speed past the window and just enjoyed the light chatter in the van.

“I love this song. Turn it up.” Junhoe suddenly yelled from the row in front and Hanbin laughed at how excited the other was.

A few second later and GOT7’s Just Right was blaring over the radio. Hanbin groaned and covered his face with his hands. Couldn’t he have just one moment without a love song being shoved in his face.

Hanbin usually enjoyed the feel good messages that GOT7 could put into their songs but the PMA was just a touch too far for his emotional state. Once again he found himself analysing the words and comparing them to his own relationship.

Body positivity was something idols, and everyone else, had to battle with daily from nasty comments on social media and while Jiwon definitely expressed his desire for Hanbin’s body it felt like there was something missing. Jiwon may not critique him physically but a part of their relationship had always remained professional too.

They were band members in everything they did and that meant pointing out flaws. Jiwon had no problems calling Hanbin out on his snappy temper or overly touchy moments; after all they allowed him to improve and become a better person. To say that Jiwon accepted every part of him was completely true but Jiwon also pushed him to be more and to improve; not prepared to let Hanbin become complacent. It was part of the reason they worked so well.

That said, Junhoe was absolutely right. This was a bop. Hanbin forced himself to push away his obsessive thoughts and just enjoy the thundering music.

 

* * *

 

Even with the other members pestering him to come to them with any problems he was having Hanbin couldn’t seem to put aside his hunt for the perfect song. Other couples had 'Couple Songs' and Hanbin was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with his relationship with Jiwon, not actually wrong of course, but it was annoying to not find anything at all.

Having just escaped from Jinhwan’s probing questioning Hanbin had taken refuge in their maknae’s room while the other was distracted with a game. To occupy himself for a little while Hanbin began to run his finger along the edges of Chanwoo’s extensive CD collection. Reading through the titles Hanbin hated himself for how his brain automatically picked out the various love songs on display there.

Stopping when he came across a particularly battered case Hanbin slid it out from the overstuffed shelf. Turning the component over in his hands a few times Hanbin considered what drew Chanwoo to this specific album.

“Hey Chanwoo-ya?”

“What?” Chanwoo grunted as he continued smashing buttons.

“I didn’t know you liked B.A.P.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Good point.” Hanbin chuckled and fought to fit the case back into its slot.

A sudden shout of frustration and smash of the plastic controller made Hanbin jump and the case flew out of his hand. Chanwoo spun around in his car and Hanbin took in his furrowed brows.

“Did you… lose?”

“No, we won but we didn’t beat our high score.” Chanwoo sighed and bent down to pick up the CD case at his feet.

“Oh, bad luck.” Hanbin replied awkwardly, not entirely sure what he should say in that situation.

“It happens.” Chanwoo turned the case over in his hands in much the same way Hanbin had done moments ago. “Why are you asking about my CDs Hyung?”

“I was just wondering why you liked them; making conversation. I can leave if you’re busy.”

“Don’t be silly.” Chanwoo moved over to his bed and sat down; patting the bed for Hanbin to join him. “I like this album because B.A.P really addresses some serious issues in their songs; makes me feel like music can make a difference to people.”

“Deep.” Hanbin snorted but moved to join Chanwoo on the bed, slightly intrigued.

“Plus, I like the songs about falling in love. The way they talk about love driving you crazy and consuming everything about you… that’s… that’s what I want to happen. To find that person and want to give my all to them.”

“I never thought of you as a romantic.”

“Me either. I just want the excitement... and to shove it all in Junhoe's face when I get a girlfriend first.”

Hanbin laughed at the younger boy's reply and enjoyed talking about their musical influences for a while longer until Chanwoo wandered off to find some food. As Hanbin sat in the empty room holding the album loosely in his finger he thought about what Chanwoo had said.

The intensity of a relationship that was so fast paced and exciting it was comparable to free falling in the sky. Was that what he had with Jiwon? Not even close. Once again all Hanbin could think about was the comfort and security that came from being with Jiwon. They definitely had their moments of passion and excitement but it wasn’t the main feature, or even what he thought of first, when it came to them.

Why was it so hard? People had been writing love songs since time began; Hanbin had written a few of his own, so why couldn’t he just find something to explain what he felt?

 

* * *

 

This was getting ridiculous. Hanbin shoved his computer keyboard away from himself and glared at the monitor where his search for ‘popular love songs’ was displayed. What was he doing? Now was not the time for this; he was meant to be working.

Biting his bottom lip Hanbin tapped his hands against the top of his desk in an aimless rhythm before reluctantly dragging the keyboard back towards himself. He had already searched the term now so he might as well have a look; it would only take a minute anyway.

Clicking on the first link Hanbin swallowed nervously. A huge list of songs, some in Korean but mostly not, came up on the screen. Scrolling through down the page a few titles stuck out a little but Hanbin dismissed them and continued looking.

After about five minutes of scrolling and several search pages later Hanbin was about ready to give up again and actually do some work. Why was it so difficult to find a song that felt right? Hanbin let his head fall forwards onto the desk in frustration and accidentally pressed play on one of the songs displayed there.

An unfamiliar introduction played out of the speakers but when the robotic voice changed to a nice beat and interesting vocal Hanbin couldn’t help but listen to the worlds glumly. As the song progressed Hanbin groaned; why was it another damn love song?

The classic trope of love being a sickness and causing pain to the lover was definitely a good tool for a powerful song but it didn’t help in Hanbin’s search for the perfect vibe. His partnership with Jiwon was completely different and if anything his relationship with Jiwon made him feel better; not ill.

Jiwon was usually the one to put up with his clinginess when he got sick or calmed him down when he was ready to shake out of his body from stress. Having Jiwon in his life as his boyfriend, and bestfriend, had never really caused Hanbin pain other than missing him when he went back home.

Hanbin massaged his head as he continued to listen to the song. Why were all these songs not the one? It wasn’t even as if they were partially right but missing something; they were all just _wrong_.

Huffing in annoyance Hanbin closed down the search pages and forced himself to open the folder with the new songs he had been fiddling with. Pressing play and beginning to tinker with the music Hanbin soon put the niggling concern out of his mind and got to work.

 

* * *

 

After hours of fruitless working in his studio Hanbin made his way down the long corridors of the YG building to find Jiwon in his own studio. Hanbin knew the other would be there from the message he had sent on the group chat so he just had to hope his boyfriend wouldn’t be too busy to see him.

Knocking on the door Hanbin waited for a response from inside.

“Come in, it’s open.” Jiwon called.

Hanbin slipped in through the door and dropped onto the couch when he spotted Jiwon hunched over in his chair; clearly working on something. There was a song playing out loud through the small room so Hanbin tried to listen as he waited but it was in English and he was really too tired to focus.

Jiwon continued to click away at various things until he straightened up with a sigh and turned around to face Hanbin.

“Oh, Bin-a. I didn’t know you were still here.”

“Where else would I be?” Hanbin snorted and fiddled with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you had gone home actually.” Jiwon replied and moved to join Hanbin on the sofa.

“I just finished. I can leave if you’re busy.”

“You don’t have to go. I just thought you’ve been looking tired recently.”

“I’ve just been thinking.” Hanbin sighed and scrubbed at his eyes.

“That explains it.” Hanbin looked over at Jiwon’s wide grin. “You don’t do that very often so I can see why it would be so tiring.”

“Idiot.” Hanbin huffed and punched Jiwon lightly.

“Seriously though Bin, I’ve been giving you space but if you want to talk about it I’m always around. The others are getting worried.”

“Tell Jinhwan Hyung he doesn’t need to be. It’s just something stupid.”

“Alright Bin-a.” Jiwon laughed and pressed a gentle kiss to Hanbin’s forehead before moving back to his desk and starting work again.

Hanbin relaxed back into the cushions some more and just enjoyed the calm atmosphere of the room. The song was still playing and Hanbin appreciated the quietness of the nylon chords strumming out the melody. It was quite dreamy and the voice was pleasant too.

“Hey Hyung?”

“What’s up?”

“Who’s this song by?”

“Before You Exit. They’re an American band that my brother likes a lot.”

“Oh…” Hanbin nodded thoughtfully and adjusted in his seat to listen more closely. “What’s it about?”

“Well… It’s a love song. Only they’re talking about how being together in the silence is what makes them realise they love the other person. The ability to be comfortable and unhurried means they can let go; be vulnerable. It’s pretty sweet really. I think I get it, you know?”

Hanbin froze. Oh, did he know. Everything that Jiwon was saying was _exactly_ what Hanbin had been looking for but unable to articulate. Being comfortable? Check. Being the calm in their hectic lives? Check. Going with the flow? Check. This was it. This was _the_ song.

A smile split Hanbin’s face from ear to ear and he redoubled his efforts to listen to the song now that he knew the meaning. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest now that there was confirmation the way he felt for Jiwon was normal. Of course that was ridiculous as all relationships were personal and completely different but in the moment Hanbin didn’t care about that logic.

“Bin-a?” Jiwon asked as he turned back around in his chair to see why Hanbin hadn’t replied.

“Yeah, I think I get it too.”

“Okay?” Jiwon drew out the word in confusion but smiled as he took in Hanbin’s happy expression.

“I love you.” Hanbin blurted and refused to feel embarrassed at how silly he was being.

“I love you too, baby.”

Sighing, Hanbin settled back onto the sofa feeling more content than he had in weeks. Just enjoying the soothing melody of the song and the comfortable atmosphere between them was exactly what Hanbin had been looking for. Everything had suddenly fallen into place and of course Jiwon was the one to make it all happen.

Hanbin knew he would have to tell the others the reason of his odd behaviour eventually, and they would undoubtedly tease him, but in that moment he was perfectly at peace.

It really was times like this, when they were alone and just enjoying each other’s company, that Hanbin was reminded of how much Jiwon meant to him. Times when it felt like they were the only people that existed.

When the world was quiet.

When they sat in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs are:  
> \- It's you. By Henry Lau.  
> \- Let's Not Fall In Love. By BigBang.  
> \- Just Right. By GOT7.  
> \- Sky Dive. By B.A.P.  
> \- Love Sick. By UP10TION  
> \- Silence. By Before You Exit.
> 
> Please give all these songs and groups a bit of love. They're all good! (though you probably already know them all).  
> I know there aren't any girl groups here but these are songs I personally like to listen to and I prefer the heavier and bassier songs from girl groups so they didn't fit. Maybe I'll write another based on that feel eventually.


End file.
